Off Kilter

There’s something inside her

That feels off kilter.

She can’t give up—She’s Never enough.

Whew! This girl is tough.

Won’t give in. Won’t.

Don’t. Don’t ask. Pass. Trust me.

She doesn’t have a plea

Because she has to be

In Control.

No one made her feel like home. No one made her feel like she didn’t have to go.

So, instead of ceaseless she chose—Control.

Feels it deep down in her soul.

Though, if she lets down her defenses. What a rarity!

She has never felt FREE. Intense but kind and sweet.

When she’s mad, LOOKOUT, furthest thing from a treat.

You learn, eventually, to concede to defeat.

She’s a special kinda stubborn. Even if you think so…she doesn’t trust you. HARD.

As if her life depends on it, like she’s holding her breath till she turns blue.

Must be in control or feels more off kilter. All the faking, the pretending. It’s her default now.

Control. A personal little shelter.

They all know

The truth is, she gave up a long time ago.

She would: Give and Give and Give.

They would: Take and Take and Take.

Got tired of putting her feelings at stake.

Put a stop to it, SEE, shut them out, locked her door, and threw away the key.

10 thoughts on “Off Kilter

      1. Yeah, I’m sure there is stuff in there that is highly individualized (like with all good work), but it paints a really good picture of depressed individuals in general. And it expresses things I have never seen expressed in that way.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Oh, my, high praise! Thank you. I love getting comments like this. It lets me know if I am on the right track. I detest generalizations because I don’t think people should be treated like cooke cutters. When I write I try and stay aware that I’m writing for all even if I’m drawing from my experience.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I think that when I said “generalized” – or whatever I said – I was using the wrong word. 🙃. But I can’t think of the proper word. Anyway, in general I am enjoying your work.

        Liked by 1 person

  1. Beautiful vulnerable truth behingpd the warrior masks and armour. A truth ep much more powerful, if this world could let it be what it is, instead of forcing a pretend face over the top and selling that as somehow aspirational.
    Sorry, just…

    This grabbed me on a barrel full of levels.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Woodsy, thank you for commenting with your beautiful words. Always happy to hear my work is not just appreciated but relatable, helpful. That’s what I’m going for. Thank you for reading this poem and I look forward to reading your blog!

      Like

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